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Everybody’s Doing
It
Might as well do it
right.
-
TauKamal
From the smallest state in the country in the north, down to
the southern tip of the peninsular. From the peaceful country side to the
hustle and bustle in our ever growing metropolitan cities. In universities,
colleges, high schools, middle schools and in a number of isolated cases,
primary schools. Those in their middle age do not want to be left behind too.
There is no written civil law let alone the constitution that states the
citizen of this independent country is prohibited from doing it. It is natural
and fun and satisfying if you know how to make it fun and satisfying, and to do
so, well, you will certainly need a fair level of experience. Of course there
is this grey area in the norm of any society that the practice might be
tabooed. Well, since it is indeed grey, who gives a flying fuck.
Oops, there it is.
I said it. In a more civilized manner, sex. Or if that word turns you red,
intercourse, or the practice of demonstrating physical attraction. When I said
everybody, I really meant everybody. So many of us have done it that the ratio
of the number of people who have done it matches the local-Malaysian ratio inLondon
city. They are everywhere. Do not be deceived by their looks, or their age, or
religion, or their family backgrounds. They could be the piano girl on Sunday
Service. They could be the one lighting up joss sticks for their families. They
may even pray five times a day, but what difference do they make? They are
still doing it every night and every day, every morning after pray. Young
adults who never miss school and obedient to their parents and respectful
towards others are doing it. Priests, imams, rabbis, monks, ministers, kings,
teachers, doctors, janitors – they all are doing it. The question on when,
where, how much and with whom they are doing it is entirely their business. As
long as their practices do not severely affect their loved ones emotionally and
physically, it is totally fine. But is it?
No, it is not
fine. Not the underlying culture of a social group nor it is the restrictions
by certain religions that make the subject of sex (or even mentioning the word)
a taboo or even illegal. That entirely depends of individuals. What not fine is
the ignorance on negative physical impact it brings if it is not done properly.
All of us have been taught the basics of sex, protection and family planning
back in school. But the trouble is, the subject seemed to be way too
embarrassing for the teacher to elaborate and far too awkward for the kids to
really pay attention to what the teacher had to say, that it is only taught in
one chapter, in one secondary school module for less than half an hour
throughout 11 years of compulsory education. And it never came up in any
examinations. The results, nobody gives a flying fuck about it, nobody
remembers it and the subject was never to be discussed ever again.
The lack of
information gets the kids curious. So they start to find external resources,
not to learn how to do it – as we humans, at certain age just miraculously
happen to know what to do with our penises and vaginas especially when they
meet – but to learn to improvise. The visuals are normally so realistic and
natural, and exiting and intriguing. It can be done in so many ways at so many
places and with so many people!!! Then one thing they would certainly notice.
There is no ‘rubber’ present. But the kids do have a vague memory in the
darkest corners of their brains that their science teacher one said that to do
it right you would need rubber. But those guys on TV never used them. Now the
question arises. What are they for? But there is no one there to ask, and if
they did ask someone, chances are that someone would not want to talk about it
because it’s ‘not nice to talk about it’ or ‘you’re too young to know’. In the
end the kids would come up with their own logics. “Hmm, use rubber to play
safe. But those actors never use them, and their partners seem to be fine with
it… YES!!! Now I get it!!! They fire their blow all over their partners’ bodies
instead of inside them so they will not get pregnant. And the reason anyone
would use rubber it that, so they will not stain and mess up the velvet couch,
now the couch is safe!!! Now that makes perfect sense, use rubber to play
safe!!!”
Now is the time to
experiment everything they have picked up so far. They would do it the first
time and get over the awkward moment, and off they go. Without realizing they
have graduated from KarmaSutraUniversity, all these are done unprotected. The
results? Teen pregnancy, nasty and deadly Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and
the worse of all, illegal abortion of those innocent babies-to-be. These cases
can be found daily, and in abundance in any local public hospitals.
Well, our natural
knee-jerk reaction would be to start pointing fingers. Parents start to blame
their kids, and vise versa, and the government… well, they just don’t give a
flying fuck. Or do they? Even if they do, some shallow cum narrow minded
‘concerned’ citizen – parents, NGOs, teachers, politicians included – will go
on and on about how we practice eastern culture and it is not in our culture to
talk about it. It’s a taboo. Even to talk about it. They make it seem like it
was a sin to even mention the word ‘sex’, while other words with similar
meaning say… ‘fuck’ are being used the way our ever popular ‘lah’ are used all
day everyday. These people will freak out if someone suggested sexual education
to be incorporated in school curriculum, believing sex belongs only to those
who are married. Well, there is a little truth in that. But that attitude
towards sex, gives the idea to the kids that marriage is merely a license to be
having sex. Well, it kind of true, that traditionally, in our culture we can
only have sex with our legitimate partners. Guess what people, that culture is
long gone. All this while you have been busting your bums off to protect
something that’s not even there anymore.
Of course
introducing sexual education in schools will not be an easy task. But we managed
to change the language used in our education system, slowly but surely. In a
way, this should be easier as sex, regardless what language it is in, is the
same. Same technique and same results. There is only one way to put on a
condom. For practical training, we always have abundant supply bananas to learn
to put them on. Availability of free condoms birth control pills needs to be
made public. Literature on dangers of unprotected sex should be made available
for everyone especially teenagers. Well, these resources ARE available and they
ARE FREE!!! All we have to do is approach any nearest government health care
centre and ask for them. But many, even those who know, could come up with a
million excuses not to get them. Some are shy; some don’t know they are free.
Even they need to be purchased, a pack of three condoms cost not more than
RM10. That is way cheaper that any clinics that offer illegal abortion, cheaper
than STD treatments and definitely cheaper than raising a child.
At the
same time you will be surprised to find that many matured adults have still no
clue on benefits and advantages of having protected sex and family planning.
They are 40 year old mothers who get pregnant every single year since they were
married. Being pregnant at that age not only dangers the baby, it can even kill
the mother. When asked on why they do not use contraceptives, the answers are
always painful to hear. “We can’t afford them”, or “They are not comfortable”
and the worst yet, “My husband does not believe in using condoms and he
wouldn’t let me take pills either.” SERIOUSLY???!!!
The lack of sexual education has led to many
severe consequences. Our ignorance has killed many ever year and will continue
so long as we don’t open our minds. Unmarried young people will keep on having
raunchy sex without any kind of protection because they see porn stars are
doing alright without them. Matured adults still commit adultery thinking their
legitimate partner will never suffer, both mentally and physically, and we who
somehow, so far, managed to luckily get away with it free from any severe
mental and physical damages just DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
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